Final Karaoke

This is an essay about an event in my past I refer to as “Final Karaoke”. This event is so old and so distant that I hesitate to even call it “my” past. It exists somewhere, maybe in my mind, maybe adjacent to my mind. All I know about it, I have written in this essay.

This essay is also about ghosts and dreams, but that’s okay, because all of my essays are about ghosts and dreams. I have bestowed upon this essay one normal title and one stupid title, and they are as follows:

“Final Karaoke”
or
“of all these ghosts that haunt me so, the one i am most frightened of is that one – that one over there. do you see it? it looks like me, doesn’t it?”
06192020

Continue reading “Final Karaoke”

“I Know of the Rot That Poisons Your Mind” (or, “Congratulations!”)

It is my belief, or you could say, a principle of mine, that all people should construct their own cosmology, or at the very least, heavily modify an existing one, or create a synthesis of multiple cosmologies. You should always be constructing this cosmology; it should be as changeable as the universe itself (that is to say, modified by time.) Continue reading ““I Know of the Rot That Poisons Your Mind” (or, “Congratulations!”)”

頼るってわかる? Do You Know Tayoru?

Four years and five months ago, I had a conversation with a Chinese girl in a small car, driving through the unnamed streets of Mito, Ibaraki, Japan. In all likelihood, she does not remember this conversation. I remember this conversation because a year later, I wrote it down. Thus, this essay is based on a three year-old recording of a then one year-old memory of a conversation. Continue reading “頼るってわかる? Do You Know Tayoru?”

Let’s Start the Heck Over (Balckwell Manifesto #3) (Balckwell Manifesto 2, #1)

I look around at the citizens of the world and I don’t understand what they are doing. I don’t understand their motivations. This makes me think that, perhaps, the citizens of the world do not understand what I am doing, and don’t understand my motivations. I know we are already two parts into this manifesto, but maybe we need to start again.

Continue reading “Let’s Start the Heck Over (Balckwell Manifesto #3) (Balckwell Manifesto 2, #1)”